I was talking to my mom today about a situation between her and a couple of women she knows. She was describing what had happened, and how one of the women was upset and kind of cranky with her. As we were discussing this, a phrase popped into my head...Assume Good Intent.
When I worked for Intermountain Health Care in Salt Lake, we had a set of core values. They were displayed all around the facility, and the employees had trainings on these values periodically. Being a trainer, I developed and taught many of these classes. I knew the values by heart, and learned to think of them often.
The point for the employees, was to commit them to memory, and then behave in a manner that reflected them. I thought about them a lot, and wondered if they really could change a persons' behavior.
I found that the value I identified the most with was "Assume Good Intent". I felt this was the one I needed the most work on. As the months and years went by, I noticed this "value" coming out of my mouth quite a bit. I couldn't believe how much these 3 words could affect my outlook on a situation, and always for the better.
I remember several conversations with my friend Stacey regarding this. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but we both use this phrase when talking to people or each other when it's appropriate. And you would be surprised how many times it's appropriate!
I said to my mom today: "Why doesn't she assume good intent? Does she really think you would purposely hurt her feelings?"
Then I quickly remembered a spat Todd and I recently had, where I did not follow my own council. If I would have said this phrase to myself, I would have saved us an argument. I didn't say, I never mess it up, I am saying I try!
I think if we used this phrase a little more, there would be far less conflicts in our families, our jobs, and our friendships. I also believe it is an important value to teach our children.
What's the down side really? Even if it comes out the intent wasn't good, until you know for sure, you have saved yourself worry and your mind from being filled with negative thoughts.
It's just some food for thought, take it or leave it. It's an important "tidbit" that has helped me handle things better. Thus being a better woman, friend, wife and mom.
In the future though, if you and I have a "situation", PLEASE say the 3 words.
Шарий Задержан
4 years ago
5 comments:
When I think of the word assume, I think of this saying: When you assume, you make an ass of U and me. Get it? Ass -u- me?
Still, I like the thought.
I guess you might have to delete this comment cause of the bad words. Sorry. I won't feel bad.
I can vouch for Tami in her efforts to use this value. She has said it to me many times. "Most" people in our lives do not deliberately set out to hurt our feelings or to make us feel less than we are, but it happens. We all do it to each other. I'm sure I have stepped on someones toes or said the wrong thing, totally not meaning to. Ask anyone who knows me...I can't stand it if I know I've hurt someones feelings, but I'm sure I have.
Give them the benefit of a doubt the first time and maybe even the second...after that tromp 'em...they're fair game!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kiddin' (sort of)!!!!!!
That is so true and such a good reminder for me. I have had many "situations" in my life. I have always said "to each his own" which I think is another good one to remember...Thank you!
I love it! It is sure something that I need to remember! I love you and the example you have always been to me. I am glad you are my "sister"! You can never have too many! Love you
I have always loved your view on life. I miss our talks at Garcia's and our deep meaningful conversations. I miss the wisdom you brought to the relationship even if some of the movies you picked weren't the best!!! j/k you always picked good movies especially ones with Stephen Sigal kicking out windows while driving. Oh, I just miss you!! I am going to be using this advice I know. Love you
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